If Life is Too Short, Then Why Are We Still Playing Small?

When I woke up this morning, I found myself reflecting on the many times I was reminded that life is too short. “Life is too short to hold grudges.” “You need to call that relative who’s always disrespecting you.” “Tomorrow isn’t promised.” These thoughts were drilled into my head whenever I’d want to establish a boundary or walk away from something that didn’t serve me. But when I’d want to experience the joy of a meaningful career or an emotionally happy relationship, I’d be told to be patient – that it would come someday. I find myself wondering, if life is too short to deal with negativity, isn’t it also too short to put off joy, purpose, and our soul’s desires?

There is a contradiction in our culture. We’re told to “let things go” but we’re also taught “not to ask for too much.” As a young girl, I didn’t understand how so many people could find themselves working the same position for decades on end, looking forward to a tiny piece of joy that might show up towards the ends of their lives. On the first day at my corporate job, I remember being told that if I worked hard, I could go far within the company. Fifteen years in, I find myself close to where I started. I find myself understanding all those people who have played this game until the end of their lives. I’ve watched people put 30 to 40 years into a company, just to get laid off right before retirement. I’ve watched people stress themselves to a literal grave, worrying about keeping a position that was replaced before their bodies turned cold. I took stock of myself and noticed that I far exceeded what was asked of me, but when I’d speak up and ask for more, or simply be asked to be treated with respect, I’d be called a troublemaker. I was met with more than just a no. I was met with a “who the hell do you think you are?” 

When I’d speak to people who had put in more time than me, they’d advise me to be quiet. They would advise me to just do my work and go home. They’d advise me to not have ambition. To me, it felt as if life and everyone in it were telling me to reject myself – to not want to experience all that this life had to offer me. How often do we humans go through life denying ourselves and encouraging others to do the same? How often do we find ourselves looking back on our lives with regrets while continuing to play it small and deny ourselves? Society often encourages us to endure pain but not pursue pleasure or fulfillment boldly. Why is it more acceptable to suffer quietly than to dream boldly? 

This morning, I was reading The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. Principle 18 is Reject Rejection and in this chapter, he talks about how rejection is a myth. He says, “To get over rejection, you have to realize that rejection is really a myth. It doesn’t really exist. It’s simply a concept you hold in your head.” When you think about it, if you apply for a promotion at work and you don’t get the job, nothing in your life has really changed. If you ask your crush on a date and they say no, nothing in your life has changed. But what’s real is the self-rejection that’s created when we feel that we’re being rejected. I realized that every time I spoke up and was called a troublemaker, I internalized it. When one after another told me that I couldn’t be successful, it was my choice to believe it. Society was not rejecting me – it was programming me to reject myself. 

Asking for what we want from life, from our loved ones, and from how we make a living is a radical act of self-trust. Oftentimes, we don’t allow ourselves to be aware of what we want, let alone ask for it. If you're an INFJ or empath like me, you may be prone to people pleasing or fear that you’re being “too much” by asking for what you want. The truth is that asking for what you want is not selfish – it's clarity. If you think about it, the world is constantly asking things of you. You’re allowed to be a part of the conversation. And it’s important to remember that the Universe responds to clarity. 

So, as people continue to remind me that life is too short, I’m inclined to agree. Life is too short to not show up fully. Life is too short to settle. Life is too short to not create. It’s too short not to ask for real love, money, respect, pleasure, purpose, and freedom.

Try this today: Ask for one thing that you’ve been afraid to request – from yourself, from someone else, or from the Divine. Just say one thing. Say it out loud. Write it. Ask it. Claim it. Let the world respond to you. 

We weren’t born to shrink. We were born to shine. If life is truly too short, then let’s time wasting time pretending we’re not divine.